Women learn to recognise led flags
By Cyrus Bengo, Editor’s choice
The bedevil of unwarranted recourse to precipitate actions and indeed insane conduct by many a Malawians has become a matter of grave concern. The society of today is replete with citizens with pent-up anger, waiting to explode. The combined effects of socioeconomic challenges and the impairment of the moral value system may be exacting a great toll on the society by way of escalating decadent behaviour. These days, many citizens are becoming too quick to resort to actions outside the precincts of decorum and decency, and some of such actions actually verge on pure insanity. Or how could mere going to toilet not even outright refusal, by a wife incense the husband so much that he had to punch up her, shattering her all eyes. Is there more to the bizarre incident than meets the eye?
This may sound like a fairytale but that was what Enerst Nambadzo in Nkhota kota reportedly did to his wife, he engaged in a heated argument with his wife because he meet her outside house around 8 PM, although the women tried to explain that she was coming from the toilet, Nambadzo inserted his two fingers to the private parts of the women to check if she didn’t had sexual activity with someone, after that Nambadzo took a lumber and punch the women face until she fainted.
It is apparent that an impulsive and irascible character who ordinarily should not be in possession of any weapon at all, let alone a lumber tried to resolve a patently pedestrian domestic issue using a lumber! The suspect’s conduct clearly puts a question mark on the stability of his mind. And we ask a few questions: was he still in his senses, thinking he could resolve a simple domestic issue with a plunk? Why should a man who is truly in control of his mind resort to punch his wife over any disagreement at all? Pray, how and why should disagreements between a couple degenerate into a plunk battle?
What kind of settlement could Nambadzo have envisaged by resorting to the use of a lumber? Did this reckless man reckon with the possibility of plunk punch hitting the wife in any other more dangerous spot in her body? Or was it the case that he could not care a hoot even if the woman was killed in the process? This is the height of cruelty and it is indeed difficult to believe that Nambadzo is of sound mind. This is the kind of avoidable problem that some people put themselves through, and in the process drag innocent people around them along. They are ignorant, impulsive and quick-tempered.
It is imperative to warn that marriage should not be a death sentence. If your partner is violent and won’t mend, you need to run. Women should learn to recognise red flags when they see them in their marriages and prioritise their lives by taking flight from such abusive relationships. There are indications that Nambadzo had always been an abusive husband but, apparently, family pressure and the thought of the fate that could befall her children did not allow the victim to act reasonably. Family members, friends and neighbours also have a duty to intervene and/or report cases of domestic abuse to the relevant authorities for prompt official intervention.
It is even a crime to do otherwise. The way many men are increasingly unleashing egregious violence on women in Malawi calls for urgent and prompt action to address the issue. For starters, the prevalent but obnoxious view in some cultures that a woman is one of her husband’s properties that he could treat as he wishes has to yield ground to that which encourages respect for the rights of women as human beings. Parents should inculcate in their male children and wards the imperative of respect for the dignity of the human person, especially the female gender. Young men need to know that raising their hands against women is barbaric and symptomatic of weakness while fighting women with dangerous weapons clearly borders on outright insanity.
Besides, there is the need to resuscitate the kind of sanction grid that used to serve as deterrent to aberrant behaviours and aggravated violence in local communities in the past. For instance, in the days of yore, what Nambadzo did to his wife would have cost his family, nuclear and extended, two or more generations to fix as no member of his community would be willing to consent to any marriage between their daughters and young men from his lineage. However, this is not the case today; so long as the young men are rich, no one bothers about their families’ tainted antecedents.
The society as well as all levels of authority in it must learn to treat women in a dignified way. Community members who behave in a beastly manner must be sanctioned appropriately. Also, the government has to make it clear, through decisive punishment for culprits, that gender-based violence will henceforth not be tolerated in the country. And what better way to start this by imposing appropriate punishment on Nambadzo for the egregious violence he visited on his wife!